23 things I learnt in 23 years

For a long time, I’ve been meaning to write something on my blog. I love this activity because it helps me gain clarity, organize my thoughts, and structure information in a meaningful way. Today, I felt inspired to write on this topic because I know it will help me understand myself better, and also serve as a memory to look back on in the future. I believe everyone should try writing at least a few reflections like this—it’s something we can revisit when we’re older, to see how far we’ve come.

Here are 23 lessons I’ve learned in 23 years—things I’m still learning, still practicing, and still discovering along the way.

1. Gratitude

I once came across a quote that said, “A day without gratitude is a day not lived.” It stuck with me. There have been days when life felt heavy and everything seemed overwhelming. However, I shifted my perspective by choosing to notice even the smallest good things—a Belgian 🧇 waffle, a cup of coffee, applying gorintaku, or finishing a task. Gratitude hasn’t made problems disappear, but it’s made me see how far I’ve come, recognise how truly blessed I am, and given me reasons to love the journey.

2. Putting my thoughts on paper.

Whenever a question pops into my head, my first instinct isn’t to ask someone—it’s to grab a random piece of paper. That paper quickly turns into a kind of flowchart, connecting one thought to another. Somehow, seeing my thoughts laid out like this almost always leads me to a solution, instead of just wandering in circles in my mind. And honestly… my deepest secrets usually end up right there on my desk. 😂

Over time, I’ve realized that putting my thoughts on paper isn’t just about solving problems—it’s about clearing my mind, gaining perspective, and making sense of the chaos inside.

3. Health is real wealth 

Over the years, I’ve realized that nothing is more valuable than health. Regular checkups, early treatment instead of postponing, living a healthy lifestyle, and most importantly having health insurance are not just choices—they’re necessities. I’ve understood that money can always be earned if we are healthy, but neglecting health not only eats into savings but also affects peace of mind and the joy of life 

4. LOVE over ego ❣️

Through countless teenage debates with my mom—where she even joked I’d make a great lawyer 😂—I learned an important lesson: a simple “sorry” can sometimes speak louder than proving a point. It not only shows love but also helps sustain relationships and makes space to understand the other person’s view. In the end, I realized that a simple sorry can protect love better than a thousand justifications.

5. Discipline over motivation 💪🏿 

I’ve noticed that motivation never really lasts. Some days I feel like I can do anything, and on other days, I can’t even tick off one task. Even the most popular motivational videos stop working after a while. After many unfinished to-do lists and phases of procrastination, I’ve come to realize that it’s discipline that builds consistency. I’m still learning this every day, but slowly I see how showing up matters more than waiting to feel motivated.

6. Goals guide, but don't define 

Most of our day is spent chasing goals, and I’ve noticed how easy it is to get subconsciously attached to them. Sometimes goals start to feel like they define who I am, and hitting them feels like the only measure of worth. I’ve also realized this can quietly affect confidence, because it makes it easy to miss the small progress and growth happening along the way. I’ve seen people who don’t have the biggest titles or paychecks, yet carry contentment, confidence, and strong relationships—they often seem far more fulfilled than those who achieve a lot but feel empty inside. Slowly, I’m learning that life is about more than just ticking off goals. Character, values, personality, and how we treat others matter just as much. Goals give direction, but they don’t define us.

7. asking for help is strength💪🏿🫂, not weakness 

I always believed that reaching out for help was a sign of weakness. However, I now realize that it actually takes far more courage to ask for help than to deal with a situation on one's own. Seeking help reflects a person’s willingness to learn, the humility to accept what they don’t know, and the openness to grow through others’ experiences. To truly grow, it’s essential to take help, because no success is the result of a single individual—it is always the cumulative effort of many.

8. You can't pour from an empty cup 🍶

In our society, putting others first is often glorified, while prioritizing yourself is labeled as selfish. But the truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t about neglecting others — it’s about making sure you have the strength and clarity to truly show up for them. I’ve realized that it’s good for everyone to take little moments for themselves, and it’s nice to encourage others, especially our parents, to do the same.

9. Being Self-Sufficient, Yet Open to Connection🤝

I always felt I should be able to enjoy things alone — whether it’s having a coffee by myself or simply spending time alone.

This belief came from a fear of depending on others for my happiness.

But over time, I realized that the fear of getting attached shouldn’t stop me from building meaningful relationships.

True strength lies in being self-sufficient, yet open enough to accept life and people as they are without expecting everyone to feel, or behave the way you do.

10. Importance of Money 💰

As a kid, I always thought having money meant buying whatever I wanted without hesitation. But now, I see it differently. The real essence of having money is freedom — the freedom to take a break, to learn something new, to switch careers, or to simply slow down when life feels too fast. It’s not just about spending; it’s about having the choice and time to live life on your own terms.

11. Our circle defines our growth 📈 

I feel people around us influence us quietly. When we surround ourselves with those who align with our thoughts, values, and goals, we naturally start absorbing new perspectives, ideas, habits, and attitudes — often without even realizing it. They make our journey lighter, yet never let us stay stagnant. 

12. Being busy 🏃🏿‍♀️is not the same as being productive 

I used to think being busy meant being productive. But over time, I realized that busyness doesn’t always mean progress. Sometimes, slowing down and focusing on what truly matters moves you further than rushing through everything. I feel that measuring our day by clarity and not by how busy the day was makes our day more productive